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A Moment Between Shoulder Blades

At the end of every summer
 I come to a place where I don’t want to be
The years move by faster
 the summers move quicker than they ever have before
 and the time we had slips quickly  through our hands

But every once and a while
you find a second
and you grab that time
and you hold onto it for all its worth

Because those few moments are like gold 
And though everyone knows it in that moment
 its impossible to speak it out loud

Because knowing that its short lived 
would break the magic of it
And the Jericho walls would fall down
and the real world would come rushing back in
 to drag you back to the hum drum days 
of work and family

And even though you love them
your family, the time in those moments
when you finally wrestle it to the ground 
and force it to stay awhile
slows down 
and you soak up every second of it

You can feel the warmth of it in your back
in the spot between your shoulder blades
The spot that tingles 
when you’re scared
Or excited

But its not as intense as those moments
It’s a soft envelope of warmth  
that keeps out all the bad things
The things that you hate deep down to your soul,
come Monday, you’ll grin and bear it 
and swallow it up inside
with all the other fear 
and hate 
and uncertainty

And in some moments 
it will come rushing back to you
even across the years
as  a song 
a smell 
a taste

And the feeling will build up 
and press down on you
until you pop. 
Until you can’t take it anymore. 
The inanity of it
Of the bullshit jobs that produce nothing
That leave you grasping for an outlet. 
To bare your soul 
and mind 
 To scream “I’M HUMAN”
I need help. I NEED.

- Justin McAfee
  august 22 2018

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